Home > Reading 1 (Dr. Borzabadi) > Unit 2 Story (The Bannded Nomad)

Unit 2 Story (The Bannded Nomad)

October 31, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Here is the Unit 2 story …

In the Name of God

Name: Reza Takhshid
Class:
Reading & Comprehension 1
Assignment:
A Story on 2nd set of words

I used to live as a nomad, until one night I had an argument with the head of our tribe, and complained about the way things were going lately.
The day after denizens of our tribe came to my tent, accusing me of being a malcontent and therefore a danger to the tribe’s unity. The same day I was obliged to leave the tribe and move to a city .
At first, I had a great sense of foreboding. because I did not have much money to squander away, and was in a pressing need for a job. Yet every job I applied for, had prerequisites which I didn’t not meet. I could not withstand the situation, and felt very frail and weak. Now I’m pusillanimous to go back and confront my tribe. Therefore I’ve decided to wander about the country and find others who were banded from their own tribes, so we could start our own tribe and beat the hell out of those who left us alone!!

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  1. November 13, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    not to mention that i compliment you on your ease of style ,here i’m pointing a few miswrittens, misspells or maybe mistakes:

    -denizens of ouR tribe

    -prerequisites which i did not meet or had not met. (why you’re using MEET here?)

    -frail and weAk

    -i’ve decided to wAnder about

    -(something’s not right with your last sentence ) …and we could start our own tribe.

    -using two THEREFORE in a small interval is frowned upon :-p you could use a synonym.

    ——–

  2. Peyman
    November 13, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Hey, here I am too: ) Lets see…Payaam has made some good points : D We are doing this for fun, aye? 🙂 we might be wrong in our suggestions too, 🙂 so bear with us…

    First of all thanks for sharing your assignments with us, splendid idea.

    1.Check if its better to put “argument” instead of “argue” in the first sentence : ) Noun/V
    2. Try to spell-proof your assignments, or else, you have to face Payaam : )
    3.as for what Payaam mentioned: (something’s not right with your last sentence ) …and we could start our own tribe.

    I would suggest merging the last two short sentences into one:
    …And find others who were banded from their own tribes HOPING TO/ STRIVING TO/ start our own tribe.

    Or some other ways of preventing so many “and” coming after another.

    Cheers

  3. Rez(A)
    November 13, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Thank you very much 4 pointing out the probs.

    ummm for the meet thing,
    this is how i feel i don’t know if i’m right
    which i did not meet (and still don’t)
    which i had not met (but maybe now i do? )

    last sentence is changed, do you like it now? 😀

    thanks again, I fixed the rest 😉

  4. Peyman
    November 14, 2009 at 12:35 am

    :))) much better 😀

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